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Bedouin wedding

Wednesday night we attended the wedding of a Bedouin girl and her husband. Both were from different areas, the one from a more modern tribe than the other. Dinner is hardly over when everyone starts to dance, and from there on pictures have to tell the story.

schooltrip to Gaza

Today was about going to Gaza. It's not possible, not allowed and not wise and therefore very interesting to do.
Arriving at the checkpoint we were welcomed with a big sign:

Welcome to Erev Crossing Point

As at any checkpoint there is a big wall, discontinued by watch towers. In a little glass house sits a soldier with a microphone. He decides for who to open the gate. What is different here is that there is a huge building with UN flags behind the wall. And the silence. Most checkpoints are full of traffic, people in cars, on foot, going in and out, waiting in long lines. Here there is one family in a car. They push a luggage cart full of suitcases, boxes, blankets. With them is a little boy who apparently just had eye surgery. He holds tightly to his new toy.

Before us in line is an Irish guy. Tattoos, safari clothes, typical journalist. After some checking of the papers and waiting he passes and disappears into the building.

The family waits and waits and then turns around. All the boxes go back into the car and they leave.

When it's our turn we get a snappy 'no'. We sit a bit longer in the sun, in the awkward silence. The most dangerous place in the world? Really?

Lunch at the Hub

Studio T meeting @ Tilburg

good things take time

so, we'r in the middle of a module process design. everything you do or say is subject of the module. that's weird. any topic of a lecture can instantly change into a meta discussion about what is happening now, how it came to be like this, how we feel and think about it etc.

this has been going on for two months now. strange months with hindsight. scattered lectures and assignments, scattered interest from me and my team and a lot of team building related processes.

now, after two months, do i first realize how the module would have been perfect for me. i would have loved to take a bit more time to think about where i am regarding process facilitation. 'what is it that i want to contribute this module?' and 'what is it that i want to learn this module?' could have been guiding questions in this.
from there I would have sought to set the frames for my 'own' exam. who do i want to be my jury? what is it that i want to challenge inside me? how can i have check ups on my progress on the way?

instead the school presented me with their frames, deadlines, requirements and expectations, before they asked me where my passion was. impressed by the thought-through presentation of what-to-do i didn't give it much thought if that was my way to go.

i now realize that it takes me this much time to realize the source of my negative feeling and lack of motivation since September. and that it's fine, that things always take time to crystallize, at least inside me. but that once i'm aware i can act again with passion and vision. that's where i am now. and i know i'm my own best jury.

decision making

We are a group of 14 people in one team. We all come from different places. Our histories are different, and our futures will be diverse. We are all different. We think different, act different, and feel different.
Still we choose to be together for three years and walk the same path, sail the same boat. It wasn’t clear what the path would look like, or what the destination would be, only that all of us together would decide upon that.

It’s Tuesday afternoon and we have a team discussion. There are 14 Chairs in a circle, someone writes on the whiteboard, someone writes an sms out of sight. A group of people talks about pending issues, others are quiet, listening. Then there is a voice: - “Sorry but what are we talking about? I thought this was to be quick decision making, I’m not up for this and would rather go and do my own things.”

The group sets a timeframe for the topic and continues tackling the issues. Again there is a voice: - “I’m not sure about you guys, but I feel disconnected to this topic, and I miss passion. It feels lame the way we sit here, can we take a break or do an energizer maybe?”

After a ten minutes smoking break the group picks up on the subject again. Someone throws in a ‘practicality’, someone goes outside to make a phone call and a new facilitator stands up. Then one of the quiet people speaks: - “We agreed to find a solution for the problem. The only thing we have done so far is complaining about it. Could we possibly start to look at solutions?”

The energy in the room changes and becomes more energetic. More people talk now, not quite orderly. Someone says: - “I have a proposition. Why don’t we make a list and take a vote?” Five other people comment on this: - “No, that wouldn’t work; we tried that before remember last time? I don’t think you can vote on a sensitive topic like this; let’s make it free for everyone to do what he likes; can’t we use the dialogue?” People exchange looks of despair, oh no, not him again with his silly propositions. How can he be so insensitive to the temperature in the room? Without much more consideration a dialogue is started. Again someone speaks: - “ We spent an hour on this now, and I thought we would touch upon other subjects too. Can we just send an email around with the things we discussed and ask everyone who isn’t here for their opinion?”

There is some murmur about us never finishing anything properly. Others look relieved, or even indifferent. The group splits up in little groups chatting about the talk. Outside, one of the smokers confides in another: - “I was so annoyed with the facilitator. The way he really didn’t listen to anything that was said. I had a solution all along, but sharing it? Someone else will probably propose it after the break. I’m going home, sick and tired of this, see you tomorrow.”

Back inside there are only four people left. All other went to mind very urgent businesses that they had. A solution is found in 3 minutes, but no one thinks it is carried in the team. Another email is sent out. Please do reply today.

tips n tricks

I was to develop 3 concepts for a game. the client is a big firm, grey suit environment. Last week was the presentation. One of my ideas was great, I was personally in love with it. The two others were so so, nothing new but supposed to be great fun.

I presented the 3 concepts. My favorite idea brought sparkles in the eyes of my audience. They laughed. Then they started looking grave. There were hundred reasons why this couldn't work. Too complicated. Too much involvement required. Too expensive.

Eventually I was told to develop one of the safer options. Wouldn't that just be the best thing? All the good aspects of the risky idea could go into the safe option.

Lesson: While presenting your ideas, do keep in mind the audience and their perception, their reasoning. It's easier to change my presentation than to change their mindset when I want to push my ideas...

How is money made?

four levels of being

quick tour of week four

physical state: my whole body is covered with red dots, itching red dots. every time i check myself they have increased in number and itchiness. This combined with my

emotional state: my hormones on a roller coaster, allowing my moods to swing from hallelujah heights to icy depths. the reason being only that it was time for periods. one moment everyone should take an example on me, the next i wish i could be invisible from shame. therefore my

mental state: hasn't been very enlightened either, which lead me to crave for some distraction. I found this in having a house full of friends and consuming lots of...

spirit, dancing non stop till early morning, flirting, laughing, going crazy. so that today my

physical state is as crappy and itchy as it was before if not worse, and my

emotional state is numb. and so is my

mental state. cheers!

33333333333333

The third week went by so fast that I can hardly remember what I learned there.

One talk with Martin I do remember: of which the outcome was that indeed a process will always be a process and that you will always dive deeper into something as a team, and always see things more clearly, and get to a better communication, and more efficient work etc. From that perspective its impossible to waste time, or do a process wrong because there is no definite outcome of anything 'processie'

At the same time I see that our team could do with a bit less belly-button focus, and a more outward look, so that we don't take every input from our lecturers to start questioning our own personal and team status. The argument that: "we can't focus on lectures because we have to fix things in our team process before we can do anything else" gives me an allergic reaction. Team process is ongoing, the chance to focus on lectures is once.

Otherwise I like this learning blog, it makes me more aware.

once upon a time in week two

Once upon a time we had our first week of process design. First came Kirstin from Arhus to teach us the basics of process. What it is, where we want to take it personally. Then came Charley from Brixton to teach us all about storytelling. As always, our learnings were mixed. While trying to focus on a model or tool, we came across a lot of things that needed to be discussed within our own team.

Through a story telling tool that we learned and applied to our team, I learned to phrase my reason for being at school. "Acquiring the balls to do what am here for." Simple as that!

And then I learned that in order to do a proper process, it needs a bit more preparation than i gave it this week, and that i need to give people time to think, feel and close their eyes.

On Friday we took time to 'meet' each other again. Some things needed to be said or asked amongst ourselves in order to go on. We sat, held hands and talked one on one until all heaviness was cleared. I realized that my team is the basis for my work and that it needs attention in the same way you care for your home. It has to be proper, tidy, organized, warm and comfortable in order to feel really at home. I had been running after my own needs outside of my home, and it was high time to dedicate energy to all individuals and the team as a whole. The assignment of meeting each other came at the very right time therefore. Many people still feel that they don't really know me, and the same goes the other way around. How a whole year can pass by without meeting someone for who he is!

Am learning to bargain about my wages for a new job that I'm going to do at Ordina. It's exciting, scary, and about time that I start doing it.

We ended the week with a party to welcome team 2. I never saw so many lunatics together in one room... Is that a learning too?

learnings in the first week

The first week back at school was a mix of different influences and emotions running through it. First of all the fact that I had just come back from Tanzania so that my soul was still on its way while my body was already doing a check in. I was again reminded of the fact how different the challenges are in both countries, and how different the levels of communication and work moral. I like both, but I hate the transition when you see the gap so clearly. Time will heal these wounds.

Another recurrent thing this week was group discussions. We had to bring an end to last year's frustrations. Over the summer Christian, Maja and Morten had decided to quit and this too needed some attention from the team. Group talks are usually not my favorite thing. I get quite upset, either keep my mouth shut or talk with a lot of emotion and go home unsatisfied. I admire the people who manage to keep away from these frustrations and manage to see beyond what is being said and add things that change the perspective or bring back the focus. From the three group talks that we had, I felt that at least I managed to contribute some new insights in the topics that were discussed, and more than before did I see every body's role in the talk. I learned that it is possible for a group to facilitate itself when everyone has a high awareness of what is at stake and recognizes his or her role. I too learned about the importance of a dialogue rather than a debate or discussion, and how all parties are responsible to create that dialogue.

In any group talk, the challenge is to say the right thing at the right time. If you don't, you might find somebody else saying exactly the same thing and everybody agree but 20 minutes later. Part of this is not to deal with too many (sub) topics at once and not to introduce something new when the previous hasn't been concluded.
On Tuesday, during the training at the HvA, I learned how important it is to adapt to your clients, and meet them in their needs. We didn't do this enough and missed a chance to appeal to many candidates for our program.

Starting in Tanzania, and continuing in this week, I learned that transparency will take you further. There is no need from my point of view to hide things from team 2. Rather I hope to create a type of communication in our own team that can be overheard by everyone, and can be inspiring for everyone. I know our staff strives to do this too, and I have only recently learned how difficult this is in political situations. Still I strongly believe this to be the only way if you want everyone to take ownership over the problem and thereby invite them to contribute with their ideas and actions.

As a last point I was reminded of looking for the strenghts of the people around us at school and beyond school and learn from them what I need, instead of focusing on what they lack as a person. For me to remain my trust in the school I need an inspiring environment with lots of challenging people, lectures and projects going on that attract me to stay at school and not run off looking for something more fun.

Learning is everywhere!

I'm linear, but still i'm nice

We spent the first week of our May project designing the project plan, or in KP language: the "game plan". It's fun, its colourful, its associative and when done properly, its even strict.
Our supervisor looked rather puzzled when he saw it. "What did you call it?"
He quickly grabbed a pen and flipover and started to translate our gameplan into something he could understand. All the colourful lines and drawings changed into few words with some lines connecting them.
Next to me, Inga turned more and more red, until she burst out: "you're so linear!"

First thing in the morning of the following day he asked her what she had called him again. "Linear?" It turned to be the running joke of the month. He's linear, but still very nice...

Another day at the office

It was the second day of our may project. Not yet used to wake up at 6.30 and live the life of a commuter, my head just stopped working around 4pm.
We were given the nicest working place in the building, at the top flour, looking out over Utrecht, with only fluffy sofa's and nice designer things.
Inga was doing some private brainstorm thingy, with her toes and my toes, and my head found just the perfect spot to lie on and relax. Within seconds I was gone, dreaming of God knows what.

Until five minutes later, someone popped his head around the door and remarked in a cynical tone:

"just another day at the office, eh?"

I never slept after that...

26th of April - meet the pilots

Maja, Inga and I have been busy thinking of how to design next Saturday into an exciting day for possible new applicants. After an early morning brainstorm we instruct everyone on what to prepare. All people in the team get a station to host, and lighthearted KP things to organize for all visitors.

Marketing for team 2

Dennis, our intern, makes us lay on the floor and smile up at his camera almost every afternoon. it seems that he uses the pics for making films, or storyboards, or whatever, but in any case, this is what it takes to find new applicants apparently. very cosy, very funny...

facilitating young Triodos

Once upon a time, quite some many days ago now, three young people from another town asked us to help them organize an event. They were young employees from the Triodos Bank that had united in 'Young Triodos'. Together they wanted to make a statement in the bank about the energy and the vision of the youngsters, the leaders of the future.

During regular meetings we formed a work group that digged into the gold of the organization. What do they stand for? What are their strongpoints? What is the topic of discussion during lunch breaks? Which fears about the future are shared by everyone?

We found a way of working together that went against all advice that we got. Everyone contributed equally to creating ideas, working out concepts and preparing the evening on the 6th of March 2008. Invited were the managers of the bank, and all the employees under 30 yrs. The theme of the evening was time connected to quality, or 'kwalitijd' in Dutch. The wish was to create connections between people, send out a buzz about Young Triodos and their fresh view upon things, and to bring your passion outside work hours into the bank.

The evening started with the whole crowd simulating a clock with clapping hands and ofcourse a 'cookoo'! Now in tune with the theme everyone devided up in groups of three and shared their passion for things outside workhours. One person interviewed, one person talked and one looked for the sparkle in the eye... All 'sparkles' were noted on post-its and hung on the walls for inspiration in the future.

One group then went with Ursel & Peter and discussed (...) the other half went with Soad and Selma and talked about the hindrances of deadlines, omnipresent time limits and how to keep time a positive factor in your life. To our suprise all the older managers stated that they were very well able to deal with time, in contrast to the younger ones who did have a struggle keeping up with time. While preparing for the presentations there was laughter to be heard all along the corridor. In one group it was more quiet: one of the managers shared his knowledge of time management with his little group and everybody listened very attentively.

The group gathered again downstairs, curious to see the presentations of the other groups. As the first started, it became clear why there had been so much laughter: they had used improvisation theater to expresss their problems with time, and now everyone laughed at the recognition of your boss trying to make you do something he himself didn't feel like. Ursel & Peter's group had a more serious approach and their presentation held some in depth insights in the feelings of the employees towards their work. Again we were impressed by their positivity and energy. We ended with the last theater peace, five people trying to set up a meeting about time management but too busy or distracted ever to go there.

After having enjoyed a good Italian dinner we took all one by one into a sideroom. Here they got the name of one of their collegueas, and a bag full of things that could help them to make a suprise for the other: their 'Secret Friend'. For the whole week everyone should create a nice suprise for that person, and not reveil his own identity. The evening closed by everyone writing their new insights about time on a big clock that would secretely replace the clock in the lunch room.

Everyone went home with a feeling that he had met his collegues in another way, learned something about time and how it can interfere with your passion for your work. But mostly people were excited to start making something for their 'Secret Friend'. This would certainly send out the buzz about how cool Young Triodos is, and how different.

KunstBeleg

Joris and I during our presentation for Business Design. Carianne couldn't make it to join but was our great admirerer. I had been so busy the days before that the presentation went practically like this:
Joris saying a lot of sensible things
Joris: and now Selma will explain how we will do this and that
Selma: 1 minute on the topic
Joris saying a lot of sensible things again
Selma falling asleep
Joris: and now Selma will explain...
etc
etc
We had miraculous positive feedback from the springboard afterwards