‘I’d rather cry in a BMW than laugh on a bicycle.’

My very first friend in Shanghai, Vicky, taught me to say: ‘I’d rather cry in a BMW than laugh on a bicycle.’ Apparently it was said by a girl on a dating show to an unemployed contender who asked her to ride with him on his bike in 2010.

As Palmer explains in his article on Chinese youth, the preference to cry in a BMW can be used to explain China's society both in its favour and against it. Personally I think it is one of the ugliest aspects of contemporary Chinese life. And it goes hand in hand with the lack of religion and the vacuum that has created. Because every society needs values, needs 'Sunday' activities, needs reasons for and ways of celebration to flourish.

Religion is almost non-existing in todays Shanghai unless you regard 'money' as a god, then all of a sudden the city is filled to the brim with devotees. If 'money' is the upper god in this religion, then 'real estate', 'big cars', 'gold' and 'LV handbags' are in the slightly lower ranks.

Values are the likes of 'foreign' is better than local, owning is better than sharing. 'Sunday' activities include shopping, lots of time online for more shopping. Celebrations look like 40% discount on clothes (women's day), 30% discount on toys (children's day), or everything on discount (single's day on November 11). When people will go home to pay respect to the dead next weekend, they will burn not only the traditional paper money, but paper iPhones, and paper houses as well.

Money god has many temples: shopping malls, housing estates, banks and karaoke bars. All worshippers are invited to these temples (enjoy the cold/heat of the airco in the mall, sit on comfy sofas at IKEA) but its high priests have some outstanding features:

• Buick or BMW with a driver parked outside on the curb. Or, self driven Porsche parked halfway on the curb (because driving skills are hard to buy).  
• iPhone 6 (or two) 
• Tiny dog in LV bag, LV bag, golden necklace, too high heels for the occasion
• Big eyes, white skin, toneless arms and legs for lack of exercise, impeccable black hair
• Seldom a smile

To get back to the saying about the BMW versus the bike, there are roughly two types of people who still bike as a means of transport in Shanghai, (remember the song 'nine million bicycles in Beijing'? That's no longer a fact, mrs Katie Melua..) it is the really poor buggers, who cannot even afford an electric bike, or the bus, or the metro. And, the foreigners and overseas Chinese, who cannot shake off their habits. 

Are these bikers unhappy? Or are they laughing despite the general wisdom that a bike is never a BMW? On many days it is hard to tell as more and more bikers are wearing PM2.5 masks to protect them from smog and exhaust fumes. But on days like today, when AQI is pretty ok, and people go out unprotected, few people are laughing. 

It remains one of the unresolved mysteries of Shanghai for me, why it is hard to find people looking happy, looking relaxt. Both high priests in their imported Porsches and the poor bastards who are only marginally surviving, but also the hard working middle class: neither of them seems to enjoy life much. Or at least not so in public.

(All pictures stolen from the www: citilab.com, viiphoto.com, luxuo.com)