Wanna play?

One of my favorite childhood reads was 'Pietje Bell' whose father always told him: Don't come back home until you have at least one hole in your trousers, or a bruise or blue eye.

(or so I remember)

Every since Nelson can walk I take him outside to play after dinner, before bedtime. There's a whole clan of neighbours doing the same with their children or more often: grand children, and over the months we've all been studying each other in depth.

I go by the idea that Nelson will learn by doing, and especially by making mistakes. So falling down the stairs of the slide, trying to climb back onto the slide 101 times without success. Tripping over his clumsy self and picking himself back up again in his own time. Etc.

Picture this group of people at the playground, parading around their babies in strollers or simply carrying them in their arms. But more important the 'gege's (older brothers) and 'jiejie's' (older sisters) who can also walk. They take a step, their caretaker takes one. They dive under the slide, their caretaker holds his hand in between slide and head. They make noise, the caretaker hisses. They don't want to share toys, they're forced to share. A little towel to wipe their foreheads at hand, another little towel permanently stuck in their neck to absorb sweat. The little princess falls over her feet and is immediately pulled back up. The little emperor makes his way to the stairs and his mother jumps up to pull him back. Too dangerous!


Easy to imagine the rift. We're playing just fine by the bushes when the clan decides there's too many mosquito's. 'We need to go!' There's a overly cute baby cat that just demands to be cuddled. Nelson takes a few steps in the direction and is pulled back by a concerned lady. No! And I just smile, and say yes, and we stay playing in the swarm of mosquitos and we do stroke the baby cat, just as we feel like.

'Tamen' means 'they'. It's the word that I understand best from the clan discussions that are then raised. They do it differently. It's better, some of the English speaking parents have told me. We Chinese are too concerned. But most think I'm just crazy. 'Tamen' foreigners who don't care about their sprout. She may need some help, let me just go ahead and tell the boy what to do...

Just a few more months before the kids will start to tell each other what is good and what is bad. Until then, I'm playing Pietje Bell's father and we don't go back inside until we're all wet from fetching fishes in the pond, or all bruised from running in the laurel maze.